Indeed, I made a tough decision.. I had to break the ice. I feel its the best for us. It was quite a heartbreaking decision.. Am down and heavy with sorrow.. Crap, seriously.. Somehow I regretted it a lot. Looking on the another side, it's a good thing. Perhaps my mind and heart have never been clear. I might just hurt you in the end. I really hate myself for that. Am so afraid that am just in "substitution mode".

It's a tragedy for me that very little girl understands me. Probably the way I portray myself contradicts with who am really am.

I felt happy too.. That I can move on.. My priority now is studies. I can't be thinking bout this all the time.. Besides, I know vividly in my heart, it's not gonna happen, right from the start. No use holding on right? It be very selfish for me to keep clinching on you. I've to stop. Perhaps, in the next few months, we'll never talk to each other again. I am sure I really like you. However,am gonna make sure its - I "liked" you.

I've so many things I want to do. Going India and Cambodia. Taking my basic fitness course after the Os. Work. And lots of things basically. Really looking forward for the two overseas trip. I really love to touch the hearts of those kids. Their smiles melt my heart. I made a promise to those kids in Cambodia that I'll return next year. I suppose in a moment of impulsiveness I did that. However, I do not intend to break that promise.

The India trip really gave me a dilemma today. A HUGE one.. Am sorry I lost my cool. I just felt so oppressed.. However, I believe in God.