Complication!

Suaysuay long hair tio caught by mr felix wrong.. Not i dont want to cut.. Because of her.. One of her expectation out of the seven... Then he scoldscold.. I always will remember her expectation de.. Today suyi ask me clean the "ball" then i dunno is her de.. Then later her ball missing then i find :D.

Wednesday she sms me ask me for maths homework.. Then i ask her still got feeling mah she say no.. Then i very sian.. Then later she reply back... "No you misunderstood what i said i mean no feeling because i tired" I was like GODLY~~~ WHAT SHE MEAN? still have feeling? godlikenessX10000000000000000000000000000000000000000. I must admit I still love her to the core. I can vaguely remember that expectation
1:she doesnt want this to affect my studies
2:she dont want to delay time(sort of)
3:Be taller than her.. (already am dunno y she wrote that)
4:dont cut ur hair too think(try not to nvm if u insist)
5:keep ur fingernails short*
6:Do well in studies.. Must word hard!
7:Honour ur parents do what she say(k....)

My expectation not so much lol.. Loving someone is to support them and not minding their bad points.. If one day she cannot walk liao for some reason, I dont mind her being a handicap de, because I love her.(touch wood) Sigh.. After olevels liao but if she really wanna start afresh i dont mind waiting for 2years one... The mcfury was not zhong hsun treat de... Is me in the dark(hehe) Diao........... She dont know :D. Today going eat sakae sushi weeeeeee~~~~~~ Soon las..
I missing her........ Dunno why I still love her so much..... Last time she say I not convincing.. I dont get it sia... Her mood swings is quite "serious" de.. But she changed alot.. To me she like change to the bad side...

Time:230
I must perservere on..

One step up...... Day by Day

Hurray... Almost everything I do correspond with her... Might be a blessing in disguise or a omen(no way). She forgot to do chinese homework I also forgot.. Maths textbook undertable she also undertable, when i take out she also take out... HaH.. Today during PE I scored a point and she *clap*clap* for me yayyes hehe :D... Usual steal glances but lesser cause I think its too "manifested"..

Ms Tay, Ms Tay, Ms Tay... Why must you be so godlike.. So many tons of work can stress me but can keep me occupied though.... Perak trip so "fascinated" by it.. But money problem ROFL... Forget it!!!! Go for vietnam is enough already. For one should not ask for too much. Be happy that I can go vietnam.Sec2 camp yea.. Not too baddd.. They won the best class in express stream.. GRATS to 2e3 yay.. They did it their own haha.. I feel happy for them yayy... But first day they not so "hyper" second day they siao siao hehehe!!! Dunno why.. Maybe they need time to adapt. Just know they did it without the help from us which is quite a achievement for the class bond together as one. Most important is not winning.. Is that time spent there.. Bonds, friendship and stepped out from ur own comfort zone.. "In order to gain new ocean, you must lose sight of the ocean" yea man... Perserverance prevails when all fails!!

Great friday going for sakae buffet woot man... Feel like asking her.. But better not haiz... Months and days, i cant forget her.. I think thats god want me to do.. Tunnel to light... Hope I once again "embrace" the light. Instead of shrouding in confusion and disorientation.. But i'm used to it.. That's life man.. I'm still perservering.. For the OBS made me strongly believe in perservering... My personality is better now though I dont have as much confidence as before but still have.

Now doing chinese homework see the chinese I wanna faint! Still got Emaths but nevermind still early :D:D slowly dodo.. But i damn tired.. My gay bro set alarm to play world of warcraft.. Today Emaths was kinda boring but I managed to pull through.. Ms Tay menacing eyes is SCARY... HahHAH.. But her mood changes quickly which can be good or bad depending on circumstances... Miss sec2 life man.. Jump back to last 180days if I can, DEFINITELY I will.... Gonna do chinese soon

Time:2.48pm
Hope things get better

A Normal FRIDAY

As usual.. But today shes sick.... Shivering :(... Why the heck i din brought a bloody jacket for her... I feel so bad man... Heartache.. Alot.. She not well i also sian... Thats all now haha

Ache me

Hah sec2 camp rather disappointing and ironic though... But at least my group is better than the rest :).

Saw her.... The moment i saw her my eyes like stick to her... Everytime see her heartache...
There was a time where students are not supposed to cross "there" then i saw her going to cross.. Immediately i shout her name sia.. Make me feel so embarrassed.. Instantly.. Cause i dont want her to get scolded.. Today dunno what is wrong with sharizuan... Only give one copy of the work.. And heck care the rest.. So i help photocopy for her also la.. Then want to pass her one... ZZZZ... Hope Darshen calms down like me :S.(impulsiveness)

Everytime see her my heart will sank thinkin about the past... Flashbacksss... Today saw her sleeping in the bus.. I din realize that my eyes were glued to her.. ZZZ make me sound like a lecher......

Thats all bah.......

Everything SUCKS

Gosh.. Council sucks.... Feel like crying.. SERIOUSLY! Just what the happened... Rayson "done that" to sort of helping the guy(not to expose).. Then he got suspended.. The hell mann.. Hes not a bad guy(i swear).. Think now hafizah be president liao.. Congrats to her then.. Haveva get use to it... No more rayson:( but soon kiat still have :).. Seriously... Whenever there's council event... I will feel weird without rayson.. Cause always with him during council time and hes quite a nice guy... Ok let's stop talking about this

Suddenly this thought came to my mind.. One day... MYSTERIOUS DAY! A guy took take a knife and try to stab her.. I have three options

1)dont tell her
2)tell her
3)get myself stabbed instead of her

Dunno why.. My answer was just 3..(I SWEAR) I kept thinking for days and weeks... Dunno izzit true myself rofl..

Back to the USUAL me

Weeee... Back from OBS! I gotten darker in complextion, especially my hands so dark... It was fun and eye-opening but tiring and tough. Miss the "peeps" there man.. Not all of course. I use my "her" as a so-called guide to perservere me through the tiring activities like kayaking and tracking. This is how it goes--"If I cannot complete this, I'm not a man. If I not a man, I cannot woo her". Dont know why.. I greatly EMPOWERED and I endured and perservered like I never did before... Too, encouragement from fellow campmates.. Not seeing her for 7days make me feel uneasy.... Just miss her =X. Yea man Mr Nerdy Alex is back. Maybe I should change my style... But i like being a nerd in school =x.

Its fun hiding my true identity haha :D RAWR!

I learnt alot from OBS :D. Perserverance prevails when all falls!!! Which is true :D.
1:cook in mess tin
2:pitch a tent
3:belaying
4:got better in kayak
5:conqure my tiny phobia(fear of trying new things)
6:anything oaths/ordeals PERSERVERE THROUGH for darkness ease.
7:Absail
8:further motivated
9:more confidence/strife

Miss OBS... Samuel(instructor) rocks man. But hes kinda mean at times(bad point)

Alrightyyy.. Today saw her.. My heartbeat accelerated like "nothing"?
Heard good news too and BAD(purify it then)


Seph is suffering from love sicky..
Antitode=HER
Time:11:30

Love can be DESTRUCTIVE

ROFL... Everyday I hand in my work she will hand in after me... And everytime she hand in her work, I will hand in after her... And everyday my book will always be with her book.. And everyday I steal glance at her she will look at me.. Holy..

What's this? I like to see her especially without specs man... Looks rather pretty ROFL ah whatever.. Today PE she took off her spec man.. There's no way I'm gonna miss this CHANCE.. Everyday I would try to peep at her..(not a lecher) Still exchange eye contact.. Today she actually showed concern for me.. I feel so damn good... M: na.. llNi de class t..ll OMFG she sound so sweet suddenly man.. Hard for me to resist(not a lecher) She still thought I got asthma today haha.. Things still ssuck though..

Love in drama is NAIVE.... Face up to reality man.. DO IT THE HARD WAY! Like me? nah.. DUH zzzz... Beginning to lost hope in myself gay.. I kept telling myself not to give up..

I think partly because she has the mentality that boys are playboys... "Play finish already throw you one side, then find another one"... FFS i'm not that kind of boy ok.. Yea man finding a way to CONVINCE AND PROVE IT TO HER... Convince her is the key things I must do. This is a mission in a lifetime man... Mission that will be positive or great negative impacts on me man.. I must get myself mentally prepared.. I must succeed before 24June or 13August man... CONVINCE CONVINCE.. That will depends on much I can prove me sincerity and seriousness in her.. Make her CRYCRYCRY.. There would be an achievement in a lifetime man! I'm prepared to make sarcrifices for her! NO REGRETS

Time:11.42pm
I laugh more during sad times, to hide the pain I feel inside.
But you hugged me gently without saying a thing.
Even though we are separated now, I somehow still think we are still connected.
No matter what circumstances and obstacle we meet along the way, I will be there for you.