I'm already caught up in a "complicated" situation. Yet, problems are never ending for me. And great, it just piled up and gained a few more steps.

Now, I feel am a .....
Life sucks for me now. But I will still continue to find happiness despite my circumstances.

I can't get you off my mind. I really wish for that to happen. When I'm watching anime, playing, working and exercising. I will always think of you. It became part of my life. Yet, I feel hopeless and "courageless" to confess. I know myself that it's not gonna be a reality. I feel so lousy every time i have to muster up courage to talk to you.

Love changed me without me knowing. Love can soothe almost everything(rather everything). Yet, it can be the most destructive weapon. Love is powerful. I'm blinded by love. You made me do things that I don't.

Worst of all, I shouldn't be thinking of you. When am already ...... Just what the FUCK happened to me.

Determination breeds success. Sounds wonderful right? My ass. The success rate is never 100%. And something can't be forced. They always made it sounds so wonderful. In reality, endeavoring doesn't mean you can succeed. Reality is wonderful right? But i somehow agree that nothing is impossible, just the "amount" of possibility" Endeavoring does increase the possibility. But never to 100%. This life. Accept it.

I'm drifting away from you.

Hey good friend, now I'm landing on the same boat as you. WEEEEEEE
Grats to you and me =)

I have to make decision on which path should I go. When I choose a path, I wish to lose the other path. Landed myself in something so gay..

I hope this two paths will form a single path.
I have never expected this thing to happen.

Now, am pondering and pondering. It's heart wrenching.. I hope to keep you company when your bored. Please let it stay that away. Majority of the time, I'm thinking about talking to you.

I have already loose the girl whom I loved once.. I don't wish to loose the second girl..

You don't need to be pretty or intelligent. I just want you to have a authentic heart. Kind hearted.. A loving heart.. Last but not least, the feelings I have for you. I like you.. And I want nothing but you to be my girlfriend. I don't care about what I wanna buy now.. I don't care about your history. Having you by my side, its as good as having everything in this world. My feelings are authentic towards you.When will I get the chance to say this to you? And its growing stronger. It's so strong now that is "palpable". It's tangible...

Will I?
Are you happy?

I'm sometimes sick of putting on a facade. But I don't wish to be the real me..

Going Cambodia tomorrow. Won't be back for a week or so.
Life's been typical and monotone.

Green Ape... You hor..
Hopefully you will sms me. I will be waiting till 12am.
Hope you will..
Hope you will sms me if you can't make it. At least i can plan my schedule.
Hope you don't forget bout it totally :/
Anyway, played American Football today. It was "GAY". "Wei Kien", big sized and HEAVY. No way i can use brute strength to get my way through. I got past him a few times though. But majority of the time.. I need more brute strength. Soon..
Its fun and abit abit dangerous. Everytime when i managed to get past him, SK already passed the ball ._.

Hope I don't die there ._.
Bored... AHHHHH

To anonymous,
Bye and enjoy your vacation.
Be beautiful, always.
Because you are.

AHHHHH O LEVEL WEEEEEEEEEE!
I'm pretty looking forward to it.
Emaths=A1/A2. Hopefully, shouldn't be a problem for me =)

AND HOORAY. 16Nov= GO CAMBODIA. SO FUN!!! GO ORPHANAGE OMG. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Hyper-ventilating ._. I don't know am retarded a not. But going to places like orphanage makes me happy.

And yea, i got a job at Tony Romas. Thx lewis for lobang =)

Can't wait for maths to be over. AHHHH TIME PLEASE PASS FASTER
And my godlike calculator cant be used in O level. GREAT..
Because it can integrate/differentiate/matrix/vectors/engineering mode and stuff.
And i bought it without consider that fact.
Bo bian, have to borrow from Mr Lathif.

And Miss Loh seems to be especially happy today. She can't be sad. We always give her trouble. So i guess shes so hyped up today. HAHA! Don't need go find my comprehension le(I found it though) She 100% won't chase me for it already hehe XD
Then she gave everyone a present. Cool... She gave me a "horizontal" clipboard. And wrote personalized messages for everyone. I was half in doubt when I saw what she written =.=" Too good to be true MAYBE.

Why must people be so presumptuous at times? Its really irritating... And I don't know how to react to it. It made me weird LOL. Ah whatever.


Seriously, do you really mean so much to me? It made me stress and depressed. Seriously, why am I so..... God if its possible, make me forsake this. Yes, I truly fancy you. But it's not gonna happen. So, lemme forget but I cant bear to.

Life been too simple. Plain plain plain plain. No worries.

But I've not experienced true happiness for a long long time.



Please end all this naivete. It might be a delusion. I bet you seen a lot too.
Ask yourself. Are you being manipulated or? Don't you say you despise ________s?
Why are you contradicting yourself? I can't help but to have a premonition. I guess its sooner or later. The choice is yours, I have no right to control you. Please choose wisely =) As you know I really really seriously loathe and despise guys who ___________________________________________________________________________________.



Time for some soul-searching. Giving up might be a good time after all =) Since people are all so busy preparing for exams. I guess I shouldn't. I don't wish to disrupt her life =.="

I don't wanna feel stupid ._.

I'm drained out.

Really drained out. So far so good. Happy with my life and exams results. But something vital is missing ._. Which I seriously intend to gave up long ago.

Losing this vital part in my life is a big "devastation". To some extent, life really sucks =.="

I'm dead bored. I'm really vexed. Oh great, mum forced me out. I really really really dislike having dinner with ___. The extreme awkwardness. Sigh. My day just got taken away like that =.=". At least let me freaking enjoy myself for today. I'm tired, really tired. _l_ Screw off

Really really fucking* vexed. Just wanna go out.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I'm drifting further and further away~~~~ If only someone can empathize with me ._. That's all I need. People don't understand me and say things that hurt me =.=" All the people around me does that, great to say.

Guys are much more emotional than you think to be =/ Sometimes I don't really project myself well. That doesn't mean that's the real me with no esteem and dignity. Who doesn't have man. I'm actually much more mature =.='

为什么要爱的人如此痛苦? 我想忘了你,
但我不能.
我真的很讨厌我的生活.
我只能说,我喜欢你.
我真的很喜欢你.
但我觉得,这是不可能的.
放弃, 是一个很难的事情.
我恨我自己,没有用.
我真的很痛苦.
如果我放弃,如何做到这一点?
爱你,是很愚蠢的事.
我真的很愚蠢.
除非你掴我,说你恨我.
现在,我无所求,只是想看到你,这将是
足够的. 我不想回家.
明年将不会看到你在学校里,我害怕,我将无法再次见到你.
我祝你一切顺利.

Girl, get well soon.

You always intrigues me. Always.

I'm not a 100% express students, will she mind? And that's just one factor. Maybe there's no room for any development in the first place. I wanna get out from this. It's pressurizing and damn scary.
It's hard to say when my feelings are already so strong. What if really FAIL? Am I gonna live my lives in agony? Come on, BRACE UP. That's life.

Hah, completed my bear.. (Post photos next time) I rushed for the night. The eyes make the "bear" look like a freaking mice. OMGOMG. So I cut out heart-shapes to replace. And it seriously look better. Then I find it too plain. So I cut out "HJ" and sew it on the bear's abdomen. After that's completed, I think its still too plain. So I cut a cape out(WOOAH I DIN KNOW I CAN DO IT). Wrote some wordings. I'm noble enough to write Big-Bang. Though I felt so inferior. But its her. I have to compromise such "superficial" things for her. Should I had gave it to her personally? But I chose to get joey as a medium. Then I asked my sister to helped me buy some straws. And I did the straw hearts. Then wrote some notes for her. Which a sentence that will give her a hint that I like her. "First time doing it for a girl. I'm still a amateur at sewing" I don't know she catch it a not.

I chose to have faith instead of hopping. I feel that its better hah!

When I see that your sad, I'm confused. Should I talk to you? But I chose not to, perhaps tomorrow. I felt so useless... How can I soothed those feelings of yours? Your msn nick tells everything man. Yet, I did nothing.
Alex your shit.

Whether your a mediocre or whatever to others. I will always have this mentality that your beautiful. Perhaps, the power of love. Blinded? People can say bad things about you. But I will never chose to believe.

I hope that you will be happy soon.
Your beautiful and too hope that you smile more. Cause you look damn cheerful and cute. Furthermore, smiling will make you happier.

I hope that I'm someone you can turn to. But frankly, I don't think its gonna happen.
It really hard to say, when I already like you so much.