I helped despite knowing that I will screw up in Amaths. Am I dumb? Apparently to others is dumb. However, in my perspective it's 180degrees different.

Perhaps thats me. Yes I have changed. If I continue to do Amaths, when they need help. I will feel damn guilty and that I am a selfish guy. I hate selfish people. Thus I helped. I will rather get stressed by Amaths than to be a deserter. Mr Lathif may think that I made a impulsive decision. To others, I won't deny that fact. However, if I chose to do Amaths at that point of time, I feel that I am deluding myself. On a whole new level of intense guilt and retardedness. Which I chose. And I helped not because of _______________. Cause I just want to help. So yea, hope you guys don't get the wrong idea. Cause will seems that I am more of a guy with ulterior motive and make me feel damn bad for nothing :/. And I hate hypocrites let alone megalomaniacs. Fail or Pass I don't mind. As long I helped. In front of my three friends (YK YH ZH) I'm more like a gangster and a retarded child.. Actually I possess none of those attributes. YK: You should know. Cause I find that I can be a joker and a bugger in front of you guys. So don't take me as a bugger for real :/

And I felt damn depress after seeing what happened during recess. Am I too paranoid?

Gonna start chionging Amaths... ENDEAVOR, for there's still hope. And I am starting to hate a guy. Who is so sanctimonious in front of ________. And behind the scene, a fiend in disguise? You nothing but a derision. Yes evil is insidious. Been long since I last received penance.

A penitence grip made me feel so retarded and as usual, nostalgia.

I haven seen anyone with claustrophobia.. Perhaps Tommy, doubt so, his just shy.

And I realised that even scat can be a FETISH to people. OMG!! IMAGINE DOING _ _ _ WITH SCAT WTF? That MAKES THEM SCAT-LOVERS? GOSHHHH GROSS.. I gonna die... Thats the most ludicrous bullshit thing I ever head. Those people are INSANE! PEOPLE HAVE YOU FUCKING LOST YOUR MIND! WHAT THE FUCKKKK. SCAT? I see no hope in you people.
ONE WORD: SPEECHLESS.

Today was horror though. But I felt that I made the right choice. XD Even the stress and pressure I get. Its worth it. Rather I am stuck with guilt and regrets.

And joey, you made me feel weird LOL. No need for you to return back though. Since you feel bad, then oh well :/

I just help cause I want to help. NO REASON IN PARTICULAR.