Feel damn sian this week... Everything is so screwed up..



Badminton total ownage =.="
Road-Run sigh.. 4th
Long jump. NA
Basketball. Tomorrow
Soccer. Don't think i'm playing anymore


Long jump too late for registration cause TQ said basketball 4 then in the end not 4. Then long jump is 4.. Actually damn fucked up.. Stupid raining day. Then postpone, then clash with my basketball. But I prolly won't be good at long jump.


Road-Run... 4th is a very sad position. Though I chionged like siao, it wasnt enough. Somehow I don't really have the ego to run. Albeit that, I still tried my best. It's for my class not for me, so diedie cannot stop. But i did not have a good start. Looking back makes me laugh, I can't even pass 2.4km during sec1. Around 30percent left, suddenly had this first-encounter breathing difficulty. Normally got breathing difficulty still can breathe one but this... As I was about to stop running, images just appeared.. The class and you empowered me and because of that I comprised everything and continue running. Getting 4th sucks.. Road-Run my only hope.. Felt quite sian at that point of time.. Then when I came back home, I stretch my leg. Suddenly tio muscle cramp.. Then cant walk for a few mins, quite pain =.="

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Dear readers, please do not exploit my trust to you.

Don't go spread. I will feel damn sad and disappointed if the person I trust does that. She must not know.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
You are my greatest motivation and empowerment.. You kept me through.. Without you I might have stopped at that point of time... Out of the blue, images of you appeared. I felt better.. You gave me the feel that I should run... Though I gave it all.. Still I did not managed to get into the top 3 =.=" I just need to overtake one person.. I just felt that your my main source of motivation and empowerment.

When I saw you, I just got this overwhelming feel.. It's so overwhelming that I got tentative to look at you. Whenever I text you, I have a fear of you not replying me.. It's getting more and more stressful for me.. It's so hard to get you off my mind.. Even during lessons, suddenly thought of this problem.. I don't wish to carry on like this, its damn depressing. Perhaps, I am not ready to accept rejections. Your laugh and smile seriously brightens my day.. I don't feel as stress.

However its a must that I need to know that love cannot be forced. Forcing it will lead to greater despair and destruction. Just let it go, no point traumatising or intimidate a girl. Will only make things worse. Also must let her be happy, that's love. Loving a person doesn't mean you "must" get her as your girlfriend. I also don't want to distract her studies.. But I do something, then she scared.. Confirm will affect her.. HEADACHE

But I'm half express and normal. Will she despise? However, I'm different now. I seriously regretted not studying during primary school. Now I need to waste precious one more year. I must enter JC.. Chinese will probably screw the image of my results.

I got so many things I want to do in life..
I realized I suck at a lot of sports, time to play more sports.
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I’m not deluding myself, seriously. Neither I am forcing myself to love you.
I truly love you

Albeit I passed all of my papers, i'm not really pleased though =.=

I bought a super cool 8GB thumb-drive for 39dollars! WEEEE~~
Lewis so good... A LAPPY!

Yea, we had fun yesterday at the IT fair.

But... on the way back home.. My sister called me. And said that my brother was assaulted =.=" I'm like WTF?!@ Then as i continue walking. I saw my brother and dad with two policemen. So I approached my brother and inquired. A Malay guy, who is RETARDED. Maligned my brother of assaulting his brother till his brother go to hospital =.=" Superficial wounds nia.. But the punch of that retard's "retardedness" caused my brother to bleed on his lips. Cause his teeth cut himself =.=" Friday the 13 really suay one lor.. Then accompany him to Tan Tock Seng. No more MRT must take cab, EXPENSIVE SIA. Then went home at around 1am++ RETARDDDEEDDDDEDDEDDEDEDEDEDEDED


I love you.

English was damn sad.. 18/30 WTF!@ Guess I rushed too much.. AND NO TIME TO CHECK MY WORK! If I don't check confirm got a lot of mistakes. Cause when I write I don't concentrate on the bloody tenses and whatever. 3expression errors is horrendous. =.="
Managed to be the highest XD.

AT to Yan Hui>Your maths is beyond godlike. I'm astounded. I envy your "talent" Emaths=FULL MARKS Amaths=FULL MARKS. Frankly, I'm kinda jealous and yet happy that you did well :/
As for me.. My worse results ever? =.=" You can be the best student if you improve on your English =X

Today was damn embarrassing.. Got my retarded face on the screen in front of the whole school. Famous/Notorious what am I? Finally the video done.. Drained out my life.... Half dead right now. 230 going out to meet Zhong Hsun and Yan Hui.. Jia Zhen jio me out.. Too bad clashed =.=" I try to join them for movie.

Fundamental part of your life? Or just a past-time kind of thing? Do you mean it?
Yes.

Is this a torment that god gave you?
Or a message for you?
A wake up call from god?
God's way?
Humans genes?
Our instincts?
Humans attributes?
God want you to do something?
Is it something you feel?
Is it incomprehensible?
Is a blessing?
Is a curse?
Ominous?
Objectives of your life?

So which point do you think? None of the above? Then grats, if that's the case, your in some big time. Learn it.. Learn it.. The hard way... There are ponds everywhere.

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I helped despite knowing that I will screw up in Amaths. Am I dumb? Apparently to others is dumb. However, in my perspective it's 180degrees different.

Perhaps thats me. Yes I have changed. If I continue to do Amaths, when they need help. I will feel damn guilty and that I am a selfish guy. I hate selfish people. Thus I helped. I will rather get stressed by Amaths than to be a deserter. Mr Lathif may think that I made a impulsive decision. To others, I won't deny that fact. However, if I chose to do Amaths at that point of time, I feel that I am deluding myself. On a whole new level of intense guilt and retardedness. Which I chose. And I helped not because of _______________. Cause I just want to help. So yea, hope you guys don't get the wrong idea. Cause will seems that I am more of a guy with ulterior motive and make me feel damn bad for nothing :/. And I hate hypocrites let alone megalomaniacs. Fail or Pass I don't mind. As long I helped. In front of my three friends (YK YH ZH) I'm more like a gangster and a retarded child.. Actually I possess none of those attributes. YK: You should know. Cause I find that I can be a joker and a bugger in front of you guys. So don't take me as a bugger for real :/

And I felt damn depress after seeing what happened during recess. Am I too paranoid?

Gonna start chionging Amaths... ENDEAVOR, for there's still hope. And I am starting to hate a guy. Who is so sanctimonious in front of ________. And behind the scene, a fiend in disguise? You nothing but a derision. Yes evil is insidious. Been long since I last received penance.

A penitence grip made me feel so retarded and as usual, nostalgia.

I haven seen anyone with claustrophobia.. Perhaps Tommy, doubt so, his just shy.

And I realised that even scat can be a FETISH to people. OMG!! IMAGINE DOING _ _ _ WITH SCAT WTF? That MAKES THEM SCAT-LOVERS? GOSHHHH GROSS.. I gonna die... Thats the most ludicrous bullshit thing I ever head. Those people are INSANE! PEOPLE HAVE YOU FUCKING LOST YOUR MIND! WHAT THE FUCKKKK. SCAT? I see no hope in you people.
ONE WORD: SPEECHLESS.

Today was horror though. But I felt that I made the right choice. XD Even the stress and pressure I get. Its worth it. Rather I am stuck with guilt and regrets.

And joey, you made me feel weird LOL. No need for you to return back though. Since you feel bad, then oh well :/

I just help cause I want to help. NO REASON IN PARTICULAR.

Been long since I post anything up..

Sian.. Maths cant get full marks liao.. One careless mistake. Make me lose one mark=.=

Yesterday kinda boring.. Geography was okok, but example give wrong country =.=" Will I still get to secure the position of the top student in Humans? Looks like injuries is inevitable when I play sports during PE. Every time, people must injure me one =.=".
Bullshit.. Later got scar!!! NOOOOOO!!!!! I will cry. I care for my face.

The so called world we live in, comes with many complications. A question that no one can answer =.=" What do they serves us? Why cant things be perfect? Thinking bout this, I feel like giving up doing something =.=" Perhaps no.. Misery, Hatred etc. Humanity sigh.. Humanity.. F*** care all bout my dilemma and worries. However, thats impossible for a guy like me. Why cant people be more thoughtful sometimes =.="
Dudes, words are powerful. Some people may be unable to take it.

Problem in love/friends.. This seems to be the main case for many people =.=" Maintaining love is not easy, once you get the hang of it its fine. Sometimes I pray to god and said "Let me like no one and lead a simple lifestyle with no worries"
Which is impossible. I cant believe Yan Hui like no one =.=" Probably because your quite no-life(no offence) Yan Hui: I can never survive playing com/tv all day at home. How i envy you. Thats something good bout you people :/

Chinese test, prepare to get a D or a C.

I just want to learn something new and get good at it =.=" I feel so retarded and must learn new things =.= Common test week kinda fine and suck. I get to sit near the windows XD so nice. Miss Loh marked the paper and said got alot of grammar mistakes. That not much of a worry. I seldom make those mistakes, unless I write too much/fast. And i got this feeling that my content gonna screw up :(.Hai..


Sorry ____. Though I promised to study with you, but I failed to fulfill the promise. I am just so traumatized by what happened. I don't have the courage to even see your face.. Forgive me. However, a promise is a promise, thus I must fulfill.
Perhaps soon albeit with much tentative.

It will be offending if I bring a boy with me.. Guess going alone is still the best option.

Its monday tomorrow and common test will be starting soon. Next week will be common test. And I must say I'm not prepared for it =X. Quite reluctant to go to school tomorrow lol.. Too lazy. Butn bo bian still must go.

Bloody hell, Joey's TomSawyer book was actually at keith's table LOL.. I thought I really lost her book. Cause Keith said he gave it to me LOL. I just had the impression that its with me =.=". Until yesterday, HOLYSHIT! Well I never regretted buying the two series for her. At least it lighten up my guilt :P. Returning the book to her on Monday. Wonder whats her reaction will be O.o

Stayed overnight at keith's house. Yesterday hanged out with JZ and K. But JZ went home after that. So left Keith and me. Then we played one match of dota and we win hooray! After that played Smackdown V Raw. Which I had not played it for like year? Felt so nostalgic man.

Going back soon to get changed and bathe. Geography homework haven do lol. Still dunno what to write about.

English competition =.="". AHHH I cant think of anything lol.
Will I be able to write a thousand word essay within 50mins?
I think I can if i pia all the way.


Anyway SCREW COMMON TEST

Retard man.. Spongbebob Spongebob.. Precisely treat you as brother then call you names what... You can also call me Tay Ta Lei. Words are superficial man. Still thought Wednesday can go gym with you one sia. But now see liao aizai buay sai. If really don't think then talk seriously about it. Only then I know your serious. You always say in such a frivolous manner, how I know your serious...
Then you suddenly like that.. Damn scary one lei.
Sorry Man. The end.


Keith you zai LOL.




Take it slow... FORGET IT PERHAPS, FUCK! FUCK EVERYTHING~ Wish I can just do that, all my dilemma and worries will be gone.

Stick to the infantile Alex back in school tomorrow :) Perhaps it can silhouette the darkness with bit of lumination. ROAR!!!







"Perhaps I'm too close too you."
Perhaps. Sometimes I wonder are you lying.(10%)